Thursday, September 23, 2010

Stolen Paper Napkin Series - Two (Or Three, I Can't Remember Which)

Hello Everyone,

Big Chicken here with the update you've all been waiting for. Remember how yesterday I posted about boobies?  Well, I also drew one.  That's right.  I have a pic of it here for you.  That's right, Censors and Search Engines, pictures of boobies right here on my otherwise clean and wholesome blog.

To fill you in on my coveted "Stolen Paper Napkin Series," (because, honestly, I can't remember if I posted about it or just wrote about it in the notebook that I keep talking about and promising to transcribe from) this is original Big Chicken artwork drawn on napkins "stolen" from all across this Our Great Land.  The purpose and intent here is to get in on the geocaching game that no one has researched for me yet, so I still don't know how to play, or to hand them out to random strangers (like that nice guy at the coffee shop in Vegas, except he got one o' my patented toilet paper scrawls [which technically still fits into this series, although I think there's probably enough material there to start another series all its own.]  where was I?  and why the chicken suit?  Ah, Amarillo.  That's right, Plucky Readers, I am currently in Amarillo.  Not a bug to be seen in this restaurant slash coffee shop - which is disappointing, to say the least.)

Back to the napkin series.  I put this one - oh, I just remembered, I also gave one of a Stellar's Jay to my good friend "_______" when I stopped in northern Arizona the other day.  That's right, public, there are more where that one came from and I'm just going to keep drawing funny-looking birds with cute little titles and quips, just because I like the word "quip."  Did you notice the quip on today's napkin?

So, here is my offer to you.  If you are not already a supporter of Your Dear Old Big Chicken (which would make you a "Patron of the Arts,"***), then hop on over to my Cyber-Chicken Theater Tickets page, (http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/p/cyber-chicken-theater-tickets.html) read all the silly stuff there (except for the part near the end) buy some cyber-tix, and then hit me up for your very own piece of the Stolen Paper Napkin Series Pie.  I am also selling bits of my soul.  Just kidding, Ma!  Ow!  What are you doing here?  I thought you were still four states away at least (listen readers, don't EVER say stuff that your mother wouldn't want you to say, because she's gonna find out about it, one way or the other).  Would you get off my back, Mother?  I'm a GROWN CHICKEN NOW.  WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS.  YOU'RE NOT?  OH, REALLY?  SO, SHOWING THEM THE PIC OF ME ON THE TRAINING POTTY WAS NOT DONE TO EMBARRASS AND HUMILIATE?  I was being especially cocky that day?  Oh.  Sorry about that.  Yeah, I know.  Sometimes I can be a real jerk.  Hey Ma, could you fix me some oatmeal the way I like it?  You know, complete with the bugs, but without the...you know... oats.  Thanks, Ma.  U R Z Best Big Chicken Mamma in the Whole World.

Hey, what are you guys doing listening in on my conversation with my mom?  This is private.  Listen, if I find that any one or all of you is spreading this around to all of your friends and associates on the world wide web, why, I'm gonna call you up or send you a nice electronic letter thanking you for your kindness, generosity, and support.  Well, what did you think I was gonna say with my mom standing right here?  Seriously, if more peeps found out about me, that would be really cool and probably very financially helpful so that I can, you know, keep my coop and not lose the farm and that whole thing.  Heyyyy, speaking of which, I was telling you earlier about the stolen paper napkin series and just want to let you know that you, too, can have one of these for your very own if you are already a supporter or if you climb on board this here crazy train for the long haul.

Your,
"Artistic" Chicken

PS-If any of you have advice about how I can do this thing profitably, please let me know at zbigchicken at gmail dot com


***Hahaha, are you kidding me?  This?  Art?  Ohhhhh, that's a good one.  Listen, don't ever call my stuff art again or I'm gonna say something that you and I are both gonna regret.  Don't make me do that.

No comments:

Post a Comment