Thursday, September 22, 2011


What did the wannabe programmer type on the first day of class?

Hello world.

It's not a joke, my fair peeps; it's convention.

So, hello world, and welcome back to the corniest blog on the planet, brought to you tonight by tiny fingers tapping out messages for you from a local hooka bar.  Not that z'chicken is a smoker (anymore), but where else can one listen to funky Middle-Eastern grooves while sippin' capuccino and diggin' chicks.  Man, how many mis-spelled words can one chicken peck out?   We'll see, next week, when we conduct our in-depth investigation on the procrastination of chicken.  What does any of this have to do with puttin' things off?  I dunno, but if you figure it out, please drop me a line and let me know at zbigchicken at gmail dot com.  I'd love to hear from you, especially if you're cute;)

Well, looky there, folks, it's Mr. Winky, one of the modern greats in the realm of iconography.  Hey, totally unrelated subject, but is anyone out there taking/versed in trig?  We're currently studying sine, cosine, and so forth.  It's really fun, if you are a sexless droid who likes to dress in feathers and rollerskate, and I'm not pointing any fingers, but it's me.  Though, personally, I'm a little offended that I would refer to myself as a droid.  That's just rude, is what that is.  Jerk.  Hey, who you calling a jerk, man?  Lay off the jet-fuel dude, that stuff'll blow you away.

So, uh, anybody got any triangles they need solved?  Why?  'Cause I'm starting a new business where I solve triangles for people.  It's great, I think it's a great idea, and my one friend, when I thought about telling her about it, she really thought it was a good idea in my head, but then my other friend who's always critical was really disparaging in this other imaginary conversation that I had (for practice), so now, even though I've started the business (well, not really started it, actually, but thought about starting it), I'm feeling a little insecure, and scared.  Yep, scared.  imagine that - a chicken.....scared.  Who'd-uh-thunk?

Isn't it funny what people who dress up in chicken suits and hang out drinking capuccinos in hooka bars studying math type late at night?  Hahaha, I know!  Weirdos.   

z'ultimate weirdo,

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Trig-A-Dig-Dig, Man

Hey, yo, whattup world?  Welcome back to the funniest chicken-impersonation blog on the planet.  My name is zbc, and I verily welcome thee.  And thou.  And YOU!  Yeah, you over there in the funny hat, the one who keeps distracting me at the coffee shop while I'm trying to peck out a very important message for my legions of fans.....are you single?

So, what's new with allayou'sguys?  Can anyone read this?  Is anyone single?  And looking? 


Guess not.  Well, if there's nothing happening in the dating scene, we'll move along to the next best thing: math!  That's right folks, it is time once again for you to help me with my homework, because my assignments for trig are wayyyyyyy behind.  I would talk to the instructor about it but, guess what?  I'm chicken.  I am, really.  That's why I wear this suit, you know?  And preen my feathers.  Actually, I should preen my feathers, as it could help improve my chances with the chicks.

But, and this is the important part:  if I am going to have any chance to preen my feathers and check out the chicks and hopefully practice something other than fruitless courtship displays, I really, really, really, need someone to do my homework for me.  Listen, I know you guys said you're all really busy, and I know you've got a lot on your plate, but couldn't you push some of that stuff aside and make room for chicken?

What?  Was it something I said?

Anyhow, uh, to end this here post today, I'd just like to say that the distance of the arc of a circle subtended by the radius r in a segment where the angle is measured in radians (and referred to as Theta) apparently makes a HORRIBLE come-on line in some circles.  Just an FYI there for ya from your parenthetically-challenged,


Thursday, September 8, 2011


Crap!  I forgot my anniversary.  Oh, great, now Kookaburra's really gonna kill me.  I swear, if it isn't one thing, and it isn't her mother, it's that stupid ultra-violent streak she's got going.  Where on earth did that come from?  From whence did her violent tendencies originate?

Who cares!  After that last incident, where she broke my beak and I had to park it in her dank dungeon for a few weeks (where I promptly forgot all about our anniversary) while I got used to pecking things out with my prosthetic bill has really convinced me that it's time to leave.  That, plus her maid stopped by a few times and boy, was she cute!  We really hit it off well, I must say.  I guess she really digs studly chickens such as myself.

Anyhow, as I said, I'll be going into hiding from lil K, but the rest of you guys, if you need me, just come on down to the Buggy Bowl.  It may not be the coolest restaurant in town, but at least I can get some pretty good quality grubs there, for cheap, and plus they have have Wi-Fi.