We've gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. To that end, if you like what you see here and would like to help this Big Chicken get off the ground, then let me and my creator know with this handy cyber-equivalent of a High-5.
Remember, every egg you crack helps me to lay more on you, so please also consider purchasing the Baker's Dozen.
Or wow your friends with the Premium Grade A Jumbo Pack. Listen, this isn't an actual physical thing that I will be sending to you. (Unless, of course, you ask me to, which you can do by jotting a little note in the "Lay It On Me" field by The Egg Carton. In which case, I would be happy to sketch up some wacky egg-looking thing and send it to you. Something that, one day, might be worth actual money. Perhaps even as much as you initially paid for it. But remember, that is only for the Premium Grade A Jumbo Pack. If you send me a High-5 with One Good Egg, I'll be happy to peck out a place on my blog for your name, if you want that posted here in cyber-space. Now, let's see, what could me and my cronies do for the Baker's Dozen? Hmmmm, I'm drawing a blank here. Tell you what, why don't you tell me? Seeing as how I'm new to this thing. Nooo, wait a minute, on second thought, that's just asking for trouble. Oh, I know, I could send you a love note. Everybody needs a little Clucky Love every now and then. So, if you act now, and get the Baker's Dozen, and send me a note in the text field, like I mentioned before, I will send you an email love note. Telling you how wonderful you are. Because you are, and you need to hear it. Plus, my girlfriend and I are having "problems" right now, and I could really use the "diversion." Ahem.)
In the meantime, your support helps me to develop the screenplay, work up a costume, and begin my annual southern migration, which isn't "cheep" considering the cost of fuel today. (And yes, Big Chickens do drive, in addition to looking really good in roller blades.)
All kidding aside, I hope that you are enjoying the blog and would love nothing more than to help you laugh as much and as often as possible.* So, please, if you need to simply visit and read for free, be my guest. I understand that times are tough and will continue to offer you up a crazy omelette as often as I can. (Just remember, you did this to yourself.) But, if you can swing it, together we can take a big "crack" at this thing. (I know that last one was pretty pathetic, but I am getting very, very tired here.)
This is One Big, Svelte Chicken, signing off.
PS-You may not get redirected here after payment, I know it, you know it. So if you find yourself lost and wondering around in cyber-space and getting all scared of wolves and sunsets and things, just think, "There's no place like http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/" and you'll find yourself back here. Listen, I know it's not much of a jingle, but it's the best I could work up on the spot here.
Thanks for your support!
*That was a lie. What it should say is "...and would love nothing more than to help you laugh as much and as often as possible, and earn money doing it." I just throw that here in the asterisked footnote because who ever reads those things anyway?! Hahaha. Hey, who put this before the payment option? What idiot is responsible for that? Who, me? Well, I don't care if I am the only one editing this page, it couldn't have been me. Why? Because I am much better looking than that.
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