Response To Spammer - Excuse for Not Posting Number Two

A Memo to the Ladies, Gentlemen, and Corporate Entities Considered to Have the Same Rights as a Person:

Dear Good Ma'ams and Sirs and CECHSRP's,

Please be advised by this memo that the reason that I have not yet sent to you the response to the spammer that I brought to your attention the other day is because I have been very, very busy, and the response that I promised, without any request on your part, to send to you has been sitting, all alone and gathering dust, on the bottom right corner of my frayed and frazzled "To-Do List," not getting done.

Rest assured, good fellows, fair lady, and dashing corporate entity, that I shall send to you the response to the spammer that you did not request, and, to that end, I will do it just as soon as I am able.

I have taken the liberty of requesting a "Read Return" on each message, and have even gone so far as to include coding, hidden within the text, that will freeze your screen if you do not comply with my demands to acknowledge that you received my letter.  Just kidding on that part, but it would be funny wouldn't it?  Because that would effectively stop any chance of productivity that you good folks there at that fine company might have today to get the work done on the projects you have that pay the bills which fund the paychecks that you use to eventually feed your families.  Hahaha.  Aren't I a funny bird, hmmmmm.

Now that I think about it, maybe that isn't the best idea, and I'm starting to think that perhaps I shouldn't include those kinds of jokes in letters to potential employers.  Having said all of that, I'm still going to leave that paragraph in here, because I spent at least ten minutes typing it up and I absolutely refuse to give up after I have invested so much time and effort in any endeavor at all but especially this one, because this is a battle that I feel very strongly about and you know, if this means war, then I thus declare it.

Ladies, gentlemen, CECHSRP's, I bid to you good day.  You shall also be hearing from my attorney forthwith, as we are in the process of suing you for not giving me a job.

Good day.  Sincerely,
Your Big Chicken

PS-Listen, if that one job comes open in accounting, could you notify me by email?  zbigchicken at gmail dot com , just remember to put the z before the b.