Dear Ma'am, Sir, or Corporate Entity Considered to Have the Same Rights as a Person:
You may recall that recently I sent you a letter asking you to please give me some work. I would like this letter to serve as notice to you that the solicitation has now been revised to read as follows:
Whereas, in the previous letter of solicitation, part six (that is to say, the two brief sentences towards the end that, should one or more sentences be added to those sentences, the entire part could be construed as a paragraph, but for the purposes of this paragraph, namely, the one you are reading now, "you" being the entity that is reading, "paragraph" being the part that is being read, unless it has less than three sentences, in which case it should be considered simply as "part" six, rather than "paragraph" six, unless it specifically has more sentences than it had before, refer to the prior sentence fragments, a.k.a. "clauses").
Regarding part six (refer to prior parenthetical exposition, "parenthetical" being the groups of words included within the parenthesis, namely, these "( )," but without the comma or the quotation marks, and "exposition" in this case, but not always, meaning simply "a group of words," so the "group of words" within the "parenthesis" above,
Regarding part six of the prior letter I sent to you, distinguished colleagues, I mean, prospective employers, please consider this to be notice that the solicitation has been revised to read as follows: "please give me job security, a steady, fat paycheck, and benefits, in exchange for my daily presence on your premises. Thank you."
Again, thank you for your time and consideration.
Ever and Always,
Your Big Chicken
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