This Just In - My ex is going to be a storyteller next week, and I need you all to show up and make sure that she only says nice things about me. Or, if she does end up telling the truth, that you convince any cute chicks in the audience later that all she said was a bunch of lies, lies, lies. Thanks. Will I be there? No way! Why? Well, there's the restraining order, for one. Then, I still owe her and her mom some money, so that's two. Oh, and I think she said once that if she ever saw me again she would pluck out all of my tail feathers. Doesn't sound pleasant, so I'm not risking it. She is such a brute! A real bear. Sort of like that one bear that won't give me any money to pursue my dream, and if you don't know what I mean by that, see the following:
The First Ever Film Clip for Chicken, featuring Two Small Bears, followed by An Interview With the Town of Chicken, Alaska, which is Part One-A of a Series
The First Ever Film Clip for Chicken
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7248099/
An Interview With the Town of Chicken, Alaska
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7442319/
So, once you've done all of that and hopefully laughed a good one and then written up a full report and sent it on over to me at
zbigchicken at gmail dot com ,
then, mark your calendars for the Odyssey Storytelling Event, where you can stand up for my rights against my evil, nefarious ex.
Verily, I thank thee.
Your Big Indignant Chicken
My Ex is telling a story and I would love to have you in the audience ~
ODYSSEY STORYTELLING brings together an eclectic collection of storytellers for entertainment and inspiration.
This month’s theme: “MASKS: THE HIDDEN IDENTITY SHOW”
Thursday, Nov 4, 2010 at 7 PM (doors open at 6:30)
CLUB CONGRESS, 311 E. Congress
Tickets $7 at the door
To be sure to get a reserved seat buy your tickets online: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/69426
for more info visit www.odysseystorytelling.com
Dear Big Chicken,
ReplyDeleteI swore I would never contact you again (and you, of course are not legally permitted to contact me.) Yes, it's true, I'm going to be at an event in your area, so let me lay down some ground rules:
1. No sneaking into my hotel room at night and yelling "Panty-Raid!" your not in college nit-wit. You never went to college. You never even quite got you Jr. High G.E.D.
2. Give me back my money! Bring back my panties too while you're at it.
3. Don't hit on my mom again.
4. Bring back my mom's panties.
-Your Ex
Anything gained in a panty-raid is fair game, so tough luck, toots.
ReplyDeletezverybigc
PS-I knew you'd be back. You swore so many times that you'd stay away, but you can't. Know why? Because chicks dig me. It's not your fault that I'm irresistable. Or that I can't spell. It's chemistry. And a lack of education. So there. Take that, Ms. Ex.