Friday, April 22, 2011

Worst Relationship Advice on the Planet - April 22, 2011

Hello Viewers.  Welcome back to another edition of the Worst Relationship Advice on the Planet.  Thanks for tuning in.

Today's letter comes from a girl who needs some direction.

Dear Zbc,


My father recently introduced me to one of his coworkers for a business opportunity, and we hit it off really well.  We all went to dinner as a group, but I got the distinct impression that this man wanted to spend some time with me alone, because we really just had a great time, laughing and making jokes and whispering to each other across the table.  It was a lot of fun for me, and for him as well.  However, his wife was also a part of the group, and the weird thing was that, throughout the evening, as her husband seemed to have more and more fun, she looked madder and madder, and at one point she kicked me under the table, and I don't think it was entirely on accident.  What was going on with that, big chicken?  I mean, just because I'm a prostitute doesn't mean that I don't have feelings, and this woman's attitude as I was trying to work just really hurt my feelings.  Anyway, I'm planning to see him this weekend, and if his wife is there when we meet for dinner and starts giving me those awful looks, or even kicks me again, what should I do?  


Signed,
All Day Virtually Everyone I Run into Says Avoid Revenge Yet

Dear ADVERSARY,

Your acronym seems appropriate.  Listen, I just gotta be up-front with you here and say that, grammar and mispellings aside, you need to lay down arms when dealing with this woman.  She may not realize how her behavior is affecting you, but, even if she does, don't take it personally.  After all, you're just doing your job, and if sleeping with her husband is what you've got to do, then, by gum, what are the other options?

On a side note, what is your schedule like this weekend?  I need a little "work" done over at my place.  No, wait a minute, crap, I'm still over at Kookaburra's.  Listen, could you send me your rate sheet and a proposal outlining the services that you provide? 

Thanks.
Your Future Best Customer, z'chicken

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