Monday, March 28, 2011

Worst Advice Column Ever - Monday

Hello Viewers,

Welcome back to the Worst Advice Column on the Planet!  Today, Monday, we have a very special blog post for you all.  It includes a letter from a troubled reader in Illinois.

Dear z'bichicken,

I have a problem and I need your help.  My friend suggested that I write to you, as you seem to have some insight into the fairer sex.  This is my problem.  My girlfriend throws things.  All the time.  Sometimes when she is mad, but other times when she is not.  What should I do, zbc?  I mean, I like her and everything, but the bruises are really starting to get to me.  By the way, she is reading over my shoulder as I write this, and she agrees that it's just not fun anymore.  Doggone it, she just threw my typewriter.  Stop that!


Sincerely,
Bruised Under the Midwest Sun

Dear BUMS,

You know what I do whenever I have trouble dating?  I run.  Run away and hide.

It doesn't solve the underlying problems, but it gets me really, really far away from fists and whatever else is being thrown at the time.


Your,                               
Column-writin' Chicken

PS-In future correspondences, please spell my name right.

Yesterday, someone accused me of writing my own advice column letter.  I just say to that person: shut up, you!

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