Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A Dream Come True

Guess what, Everyone?  You know how I had this dream to dress up in a large chicken suit and rollerskate around the country to try to get people to laugh and all of that stuff, and then I wrote this blog, and started a Facebook page, and a Twitter account and started making very, very, very witty jokes and quips and so forth and then started asking people for money to fund my endeavor?  (Actually, I think I started asking for money before I started the blog...)  Anyway, well, guess what?!!!

I subcontracted it out! 

Yeah, my assistant, (who should probably be an employee, according to the IRS regulations about determining whether a person who does work is a 1099 contractor or really an employee of the firm) has agreed to go do this for me!

I am just totally psyched out about this.  I can't even begin to tell you how happy it makes me to have a dream come true like this, and the best part is is that I won't even have to do the work!  How about them apples, huh?  I actually got some schmoe, I mean, my "lovely" assistant to go do it for me.  What a sucker!  I mean, what a dedicated, loyal employee, I mean contractor (did you get that, IRS?  I'm talking to you, yeah, you, with your big fancy offices and your absolute power to instill fear in the hearts of all of the good, hard-working people who have to pay taxes every year so that fat-cat bureaucrats can do things like build roads, and support public education programs, and maintain diplomatic relationships with foreign countries, and, uh, hmmmm, where was I going with this?  No matter, moving on...)

I'll keep you posted, but I just have to say that, in regards to the chicken suit...better her than me.

Your egg-static,

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