The first thing I realized the last time my pants fell down was that I was wearing the underwear that makes my cheeks look the best. The next thing I realized was that I was dreaming. The third and final thing I realized was that the strange buzzing sound I heard was my alarm clock going off, and that's what finally stirred me.
(sigh)
Can't a chicken just get some sleep anymore? It's like, ever since I started wearing pants, it's been nothing but trouble. I never had to worry about 'em falling down when I wasn't wearing them, you know? (That's a rhetorical question...whatever that means.)
Can someone answer me, please? Doesn't anyone else out there know what it feels like to go your whole life without wearing pants, just feeling fine and dandy, only to finally bow to social pressures, start wearing them, and then feel ashamed when they fall down?
Am I crazy?
Well, that does it. Today, I'm takin' 'em off.
Your,
Pantless...
Chicken
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