This Just In:
The Big Chicken has gone viral! That's right, Ladies and Gentleman, the chicken's big dream to travel all around the world on these wonderful internet screen thingies is finally coming true because somewhere in Louisiana he caught himself a cold and hopes that his assistant will soon come down with it, too, as she has been far too happily recording Big Chicken Radio Spots while your chicken smothers himself down under the covers and prays that she will soon shut up. Your big cranky chicken does not like to hear his peeps being funny in the morning time at all, but especially not so when he is feeling sick.
That being said, we find ourselves today in Abilene, Texas, a place with pigs on wheels, which, as you all know, makes this town A-okay in this chicken's little black book. Speaking of which, I wonder if that pig would go out with me? I could be finished with that date with the kookaburra by three and hustle on over to the barnyard or the skating rink to catch up with this very special pig by four.
We also hope that the pig on wheels may consider being a part of the big chicken's race across the nation when the film is made, because honestly, with tires that big, we think we could take him. Or her. We aren't quite sure of the gender of that pig, but still, I, your big cocky chicken, would be willing to race him. Her. It. The pig. So, if the pig is a chick, I'll date her. If the pig is a dude, I'll race him. Listen, this is all too confusing and I must be back to the car before my assistant leaves me here.
Your,
Big Sniffling Chicken
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