People Who Read My Blog Get Laid!

Big Chicken here. Someone I know posted a comment on my blog that never made it through, so, if you've posted a comment and don't see it here when you go a'looking for it, email and I'll take a look-see, find out if it actually came through. Don't know what to tell you if it didn't, but would still look around for you, since I have so valiantly and hitherto pledged to do my part to make up for all that I've done and subjected you to here thus far.

Now, for your Sunday funnies. I am going to try to be funny today, but seeing as how I am tired (as usual) and didn't sleep well last night (and no, it wasn't because of that one reason that we all hope it will be when we think of sleepless nights, and I just thought of a really gross joke but I won't post it on here because, as I said before, I am trying to keep this thing rated PG because otherwise nobody would be able to read it because my language can normally be quite fowl. Think I'm kidding? I don't give a cluck what you think. Now, get out of my way, please, I am trying to be funny here.  Trying too hard, apparently, but since I'm willing to play the fool, then it's really only embarrassing for you. I think I can live with that.

As for the fowl humor - it's all my muse's fault, really.  This whole lack of good humor on a Sunday morn. I've lost my inspiration, lost my spirit, can barely find it within me to face another day without the constant barrage of insults from that one especially talented chick. Maybe I should have paid her for it. No, I'm not like Craigslist! I'm just saying, if you don't pay a person for their efforts, they're going to need to go out and get a job {ick} that will pay them the green paper thingies they need to keep their lights on in the truck they're living in.

Which brings me to my point for today. So, hello, once again, Ladies, Gentlemen, and Corporate Entities Considered to Have the Same Rights as a Person [aka CECHSRPs], and welcome to Big Chicken's Point for Today*, on Sunday. The last Sunday, September the twelfth that we expect to see this year. Actually, now that I think about it, this is the only Sunday, September the twelfth, two thousand ten that we ever expect to see real-time, which reminds me, I need to post that one funny blog-entry that I have written in my notebook and which involves a lot of technical jargon regarding time travel, a phenomenon that I have finally proven. That's right, humble, handsome chicken that I am, I done went and proved me some time travel. So, boo-yah. Fools. Haha, maybe when I tell you about it, I'll break it down nice and slow, so you can hopefully follow me - ow! Hey, who threw that? Listen, friend, did you just drop a rotten tomato? Because I just now found one and it was on my face. And plus, you don't need to fleck it with staples, I get your point. So don't be mean to the chicken.

Your,
Freshly Grazed Chicken

PS-Remember the exclamation point from the title of Today's Blog Entry? Or, the Captain's Blog, as I like to call it. Haha, oh, that's funny. My one friend who likes that one show is going to love it. I just made that up, but let's go have a look-see, find out if it's already been used before, because something that funny and referential [I just made that word up*-] MUST have been done by now. Just a sec....Okay, yeah, that one's been done. A lot. Like that one friend of mine. The one that everybody likes so much. Hmmmmm.

Oh, yes, exclamation point. I put that there today to serve two purposes. Firstly, to get your attention, ya boob. It makes the title look like a promise that if you come here, we're gonna have us some fun!

Secondly, today I, in all my daring, am using that straight-line-with-a-dot-at-the-bottom-mark as a substitute for my ever-popular asterisk in order to indicate a footnote. The footnote being: this is false advertising. Well, not really, because, literally, people who read my blog DO get laid. And I know this because personally I have laid at least one of them. Okay, two. The part that I'm lying about is the implication that you might get laid because you read my blog. I wish that I didn't have to spell this out for you, because it is tiresome* and all, but if you're reading this blog, then it is really obvious that you need my help. Speaking of which, please buy a theater ticket, because I really need your help. We need each other, don't you see?  It's a cycle.

*I literally stole this word from one guy I know. So, note to that guy: Just stick it on my tab, bub. 'Cause I think we all know by now that I am never gonna be paying on that thing anyway.  BTW, I'll take that invoice any day now.

*I forgot what the Point for Today was.  Could someone remember that for me, please?  Thanks.)***

***Big Chicken's Contest for the Day!  ding ding ding ding - Find the parenthetical!  That's right folks, the first person who finds both the start and end words of Today's Parenthetical will win!  The usual prize.  That is, space enough on my blog for your name, should you choose the indignity.

*-I thought I just made that word up, because it sure sounded fake, but apparently, it has been done before.  Which brings me to the question of the day, and that is: can't this chicken be original?