Hello Everyone and Welcome Back Once Again to Big Chicken Radio: the Only Radio Program Brought to You Totally in Print.
This week, on zbigchicken:
Pigs on wheels, flying mammals, Big Chicken Radio (yeah, right, how many times have I heard that one before? Hey, you don't have to be mean about it. Okay, alright, enough, already.) bugs, and more insanity - all comin' atcha. Right here, on the Big Chicken Broadcasting Network.
Hey, remember the other day when I was showing off about having more than one computer monitor? And how I made a big deal out of it, because it is only like the coolest thing ever? (Next to me.) Well, ever since that day, one of the monitors hasn't been working. Coincidence? I think not. No, Viewer, I, a slighted chicken, am here to say before all of you now, that I believe that this is the result of some fowl plan to foil my show and bring about my ultimate demise. And I bet I know who's behind it and I bet it's that one baby momma who found me once again here on this blog.
(Reminds me, I may need to change this address again soon. Why? No reason. Really. Okay, fine, one word - garnish. No, not as in food. As in wages. I can't very well let her find out where I'm working again. Because you know what that would mean. That I would have to pay money to support all those kids I've been having. And I am not about to do that. Are you crazy? Why should I? I mean, "What have those kids ever done for me?" is all I'm saying.)
Anyhow, now she's posting comments alleging "performance problems." ( you can read her scathing comments at the bottom of this post here http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/2010/10/big-chicken-radio-world-premier.html)
Let me just be the first to say, Reader, that this is nowhere near the actual truth of the matter. True, I did give up my long-held dream to be a hill-billy hobo fighter pilot, but it was for her that I did that. And you would have, too, if you could've seen the miracle of those genetically-modified...thingies. Everything I did, I did for her. I gave her all those babies. I gave up my dream for her. I went to the store to get her smokes, even though I don't ever have those myself anymore, and even though technically I never got them and brought them back because I just blew out of town because of all those kids and plus I was tired of the all the racket, but anyhow, the idea that I had to go to the store - hey, wait a minute. I just realized something. I'm explaining myself here. And do you know what? I don't have to. This is my blog, and I can shirk my familial responsibilities here if I want to. You know why? Because this is my man cave, girl, so don't mess with me here again. I mean it this time. Don't make me get a restraining order against you, because I will do it.
Your Big Convoluted Chicken-Meister
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