Dear Big Chicken,
Do you ever feel like you're being followed? The other day, as I was making my delivery rounds, I kept hearing heavy breathing and occasional loud farting noises, but every time I turned around, all I saw were orange feathers sticking out of a red-flowering bush. Finally, I had the presence of mind to use the reverse camera function on my phone to take this shot of the scenery behind me. Can you tell me what you see back there?
I can. It's you.
Stop following me, or I will have my lawyer do what he does best.
Sincerely,
Susan "Sue your pants off" Sweed
Susan "Sue your pants off" Sweed
PS-You should stop eating so many beans.
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