So I forgot Kookaburra's birthday, and boy was she mad. Well, actually, I didn't forget her birthday as much as I ignored it. But do you know what? Her behaviour towards me was another good reminder of just how unreasonable that kooky chick can be, and honestly, I'm thinking about dumping that one friend of hers I've been seeing on the side, just to send her a strong message. That's right, a strong message, that when she gets mad at me, I'm gonna stop dating any of her friends that I'm currently shacking up with because I get tired of hearing all about it from her and then from her other friend, too. It's like, I have got to get a break from all the drama sometime, is what I'm sayin'.***
Your Romantically Entangled, Convoluted
Chicken
***Quiztime:Where should the punctuation go?
You know, I don't mind that you're dating my friends. I don't even mind that you're cheating on my friends with their friends (and, I guess, me.) But you can't forget my birthday. Is it too much to ask for a simple night out with some flowers, and candy, and a mariachi band that sings Rick Astley songs to me while you hire nice-looking males to preen me, massage my feet, and regurgitate caviar into my mouth? Apparently, you think that's too much of a bother. Well, I'll tell you something, I think I may be laying unfertilized eggs for a while if you get what I mean.
ReplyDelete-Kookaburra (and you'd do well to not forget the "a" in my name up there in the title of this post, Big Hicken.
Hell hath no fury like a crazy bird scorned.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm talking about you, Kook-uh-burra.
Ya nitpicker. It's like, it's never enough for you, is it?
First, you criticize me for sleeping with your friends, and then you get all up in arms 'cause I spelled your name wrong? When's it gonna stop, Kookaburra? Huh? Wouldja just leave me the freak alone? Is what I'm sayin'.
And it's CHICKEN, Kookaburra, I'm a chicken.
Get it straight.
Your,
Big Hicken.
I mean, CHICKEN. Now, look what you made me do, you made me spell my name wrong! I can't BELIEVE you. You're ALWAYS making me do stuff like that. Honestly, I can't stand it. GET AWAY FROM ME.
No, wait! You doing anything Friday?