I'm a little concerned that the freak (that's right, I said it) who posted that comment may be funnier than I am. Could you guys let me know what you think?* (http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/2010/10/thingers-and-whirlygigs-all-in-days.html ) Because if she is, then, as much as I hate to do it, I'm probably going to need to offer her a job, or at least some sort of incentive to stay. Like some occasional candy corn or something. I don't know. What do you offer folks when you don't have money?
Speaking of which, remember to watch the first of a series of low-budget chicken films! Starring, two little bears! Here http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/2010/09/first-ever-film-clip-for-chicken.html
Oh, hey, guess what else? I was going to tell you about the date with the little kookaburra bird's friend last night, but then I realized that this blog isn't always the most private setting and so, on second thought, let's just keep that one between you and me, because I've grown rather fond of the little kookaburra bird and would be kind of sad if she found out I was seeing her friend on the side, because then maybe she wouldn't keep going out with me. I don't know why, but some chicks are like that. Especially the Laughing Kookaburra bird, which is known to be a monogamous species, which really begs the question: what have they got to be laughing about? Haha. Now, that's funny. Although, maybe, since they are relatively drab-colored birds and so forth, perhaps they're just happy to have somebirdy** to be with. So then they don't have to cry themselves to sleep at night. Not that I've ever done that! No way, what are you - crazy? I'm a big tough strong bird that will peck your feathers out, so don't ever mess with me, because when you mess with me, you're messin' with one fowl dude.
And don't you forget it.
Your Tough and Hardened by a Life of Crime,
Chicken.
** I thought, surely, I was the first one to think of this and was gonna call dibs on it, but then I Googled it and found out it's been done. Dog gone it.
*Remember, you can vote two ways:
1. Comments to this blog (which may be done anonymously, if it's really that important to ya) and
2. Emailin' the boss (that's me) directly at zbigchicken at gmail dot com
Home of the Worst Relationship Advice on the Planet.
I trusted you Big Chicken. You think you can play me and my other little kookaburra friends? Did you think I would not read your blog? Why would you think that? You handed me a business card with the URL, and it's written in big sparkly letters on your car and forehead. Did you think I was stupid, or just without internet access?
ReplyDeleteI had a wonderful time on our date - though you're a bit larger than an ordinary chicken and you did crush my thorax. I could forgive all that though, but not this. I hope you had fun with my friend, and I hope you both got salmonella! Oh, and yes, that other comment is definitely funnier than you.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute here little kookaburra bird - I wasn't serious about dating your friend. I was kidding! I was lying! That's what I do on my blog; I make stuff up. I thought you knew that! Listen, baby, don't ever believe anything you see on here because it's all done for publicity. You know I'd never run around on you, girl. You my girl. My main squeeze (sorry about your thorax, you know how excited I get with anything around the chest area, more of a mammalian trait than a bird-like one, but hey)
ReplyDeleteListen, I know you're mad and everything, and I wanna let you know that I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. You wanna get some grubs? And can you bring that one friend of yours? Why? No reason.