Looks like that ca-ray-zay Kingfisher left another creepy comment. (Kookaburra has left a new comment on your post "I Think This Means War":) You know, if I didn't like her mom so much, I'd probably dump her, but in order to keep the piece in the family, if you follow, sometimes a bird's gotta make some sacrifices.
(But just in case we never make our way back to domestic bliss, if any of you readers out there have any friends who are single and looking, let me know, ok? Now, back to our domestic squabbling. BTW, my aunt told me that she calls pigeon "squab.")
This is the latest from my lovely, lady-like Little K:
"Okay z, I'm going to ignore everything you said, because I didn't read it - even the part about my mom.
Can
you bring my Fine Young Cannibals tape with you on Saturday? I think I
loaned it to you, and I want it back before you get all beat up. I'd
probably have to wait until you get out of the hospital, and who knows
how long that would take - maybe years.
Great, thanks!
Cheers big ears!
-K"
Hey K, I thought you were done with the big ears comments. You know that stuff hurts my feelings. Just because I don't have any real ears to speak of is no reason to try to hurt a man's pride. And anyway, you look swollen, like you're retaining water again. Or have you just put on a few pounds?
I'm just saying, is all.
Oh, and you can tell your big stupid boyfriend to go buy you a new FYC CD because I am burning that tape to the ground baby...TO THE GROUND.
You hear me? You don't mess with the chicken K, got it? DON'T MESS WITH THE CHICKEN! Or you're boyfriend's gonna get plucked.
Z'Feisty, Vainglorious, and Duly Appointed,
Chicken
Home of the Worst Relationship Advice on the Planet.
Hey z, (lower case is on purpose)
ReplyDeleteFunny how you decided not to show up to that fight I organized for you against my boyfriend last weekend. But it was funnier when you decided you were hungry for pizza, and mistakenly went to the very pizza parlor where the fight was scheduled.
My boyfriend gave you the choice of fighting with several different types of styles, but you chose screaming and slapping. You sure can scream and slap.
Anyway, I guess I'm glad you won. I was getting tired of my super hunky, rich, awesome, handsome boyfriend, and it's kind of nice that you're exactly the opposite.
See you around big ears.
-K
Hey z,
ReplyDeleteLook, I feel sort of guilty that my (ex) boyfriend came around the day after the fight and actually pulled your head off. And I don't mean that he figuratively pulled it off - he literally pulled your head off (I hate it when people confuse literally and figuratively.)
Anyhoo, sorry about your head being separated from your body - I know it might be a while before you can write again (or even think or breath.) In any case, hope everything else is fine. My mom says "hi" - I'm not sure why.
-k