Time Zones and Singles Ads

Good morning everyone in my same time zone!  Afternoon and evening to all the rest.  How are you all today? Well, I hope, and the same for your families and friends and business associates.  Exciting news from your Big Handsome Chicken - TODAY WE GOT SOME VISITORS TO THE BLOG FROM MEXICO, ITALY, AND MALAYSIA!  That is so awesome!  Listen, all the rest of you are pretty darn cool, too, so don't think for a minute that I'm forgetting about you, because I know it's become important for you now to know that your big hunky chicken is thinking of you in all sorts of nice ways.

Before we get started with today's program, my assistant** asked me to remind you about something------->(Getcher Cyber-Chicken Theater Tickets, this-a-ways http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/p/cyber-chicken-theater-tickets.html  They help support me in my work here, which is bringing fun stuff to you.  Thank you.)

Hey, so would any of you be interested in a book authored by your big fancy chicken?  Because I would gladly say that I would do that for you,*+ especially if it would make you like me more, because honestly, and I know I've mentioned this once already, I am really craving some attention these days.  In fact, I'm thinking about posting an online singles ad, because those "friends" of mine just aren't cutting it when it comes to telling me how wonderful I am and how much they love me and all of that.

So, how about this?

Big Hunky, Charismatic, Scientifically-Oriented, Non-GMO Chicken Seeks Opportunity to Form a Covalent Bond.

Stability preferred, but not required.

Some electron sharing.

Polarity a real + + +

About me:  Hi Ladies!  I am a big, hunky, smart, kind, generous, loving, married chicken looking for a LTR with a real sweety who has a heart of gold encased in a massive chest cavity, with plenty of cushion.  Must be kind, loving, tolerant, and slow to anger, with the patience of a, oh, how shall I say this?  A saint.  Needs own car, and moderate to great income.  Please send chest measurements, photos of self and car, and bank statements.  Please also do not white out the bank account numerical sequence on those statements, as there will be a credit check involved in the process.  Oh, and I will be needing your primary identification number as well.

About you:  Again, you need to be smart, kind, loving, and tolerant, with the patience of a saint, the body of a model, a real good-looking car, and plenty of dough.  You must also be willing to share all that you have with me, and to trust me.  I really can't stress that last one enough, as I seem to have had a string of suspicious chicks here of late, and I'm really tired of the headache.  So don't be bringing your crazy around me, 'cause right now, I just can't tolerate it.  Again, you need to be tolerant of me.  And loving and kind.  Plus, you need to do a real good job washing dishes.

Your-
"**I think we all know who the real assistant is here,"
Chicken

*+Did anyone notice that I said I would gladly "say" that I would do that for you?  I didn't say that I would do it, but if we were just having a conversation about this, and it wasn't a printed document, you might leave the interaction with the understanding that I was actually going to do what I said.  And, technically, I am doing what I say, because alls I'm saying is that I will say that I am going to do something.  Which is the truth, but the beauty of this methodology is that it is so like a lie.  Almost...akin to one.  But then, later, when you're mad at me, I can turn right back around and say, "No, I never said I was going to do that.  Why did you think I was going to do that?  You need to listen better.  You've got poor listening skills.  That's gonna be a real impediment if you don't learn how to do that better.  Next time, you need to listen to me."