Oh, For the Love of Bug Already

I wonder where that other Big Chicken got his costume?  He's probably going to be a little jealous when he sees mine.

Hey, Other Big Chicken, could you come here a minute?  Listen, I know you've had your costume for a while (how long have you been wearing that thing?  Because you're pretty ripe.  Hey, nothing personal!  Your pheromones just evidently aren't my type, is all.  Plus, I still cannot tell your gender.  A little help, please?), and you're probably pretty attached to it and all, but I just wanna give you a heads-up here that my costume is going to so blow yours out of the water.  You know why?  Because my costume designer is creative!  (And cute.)  And plus, I think she knows karate, SO DON'T MESS WITH HER!  Oh, yeah, and one other thing - I love her.  Don't tell her I said that, though, because I'm trying to play mind games with her by acting like I'm not interested in her at all.  Which reminds me, Other Big Chicken (or, can I call you OBC for short?  Not trying to be presumptuous or anything, just stating my preference in the form of a question - tryin' to getcha to like me.), if you really don't like it that those ladies in your office are asking you out (what is your problem?), I just want to stress here that it's totally okay for you to give them my url (zbigchicken.blogspot.com) and my email (zbigchicken at gmail dot com). 

What do you mean, what would the costume designer I purportedly profess to love think about my soliciting what would probably be saucy contact from the peeps in your office?  That's none of your beeswax! (wax is non-polar, and therefore not only insoluble but also hydrophobic, meaning that it doesn't "like" water*+* - AHHHHH!  Oh, No!  It's biology again, creeping back into my consciousness.   "Biology - the real silent killer," as far as I'm concerned.  And for those of you who have no idea what I'm referring to here, I am taking an introductory biology course, and yes, this is what happens when your mind explodes.  You get this - stream of consciousness oozing from the, oh, man, I was about to say the Crack in the Cosmic Egg, but I just remembered that that was the title of a book I saw years ago.  Has anyone read that book?  Could you tell me what it's about?  Also, if you're willing to do that for me, could you also then please DO THAT FREAKING HOMEWORK THAT I KEEP TRYING TO ASK YOU ABOUT?)

Oh, and one more thing.  Have you ever seen a reigning chess queen who is also a model?  http://chessqueen.com/ Boom, chicka chicka, is what I'm saying.  Only problem is, she's obviously smarter than I am, which presents a real problem as far as certain things go.  Namely, the costume designer I profess to love coupled with the ladies from that one peep's office.  Oh, hey, Other Big Chicken, you still here?  Good.  Listen, what would you think about maybe hooking me up with one of those chicks in your office?  We could make it a double date.  Whaddaya say?

Thanks,
Your Primary Card-Holding Big Awesome Chicken

*+*Water is a polar molecule, meaning that it has a charge, and that is from the electrons in the outermost shell spending most of their time near the stronger positive charge of the oxygen atom as opposed to the weaker positive charge of the hydrogen atoms (of which, there are two) which is due to there being more protons in the atomic nucleus of the AHHHHHHHHHHH!  STOP!!!! STOP!!!!! DEAR BUG, FOR THE LOVE OF CLARITY, MISINFORMATION, AND PARADIGMS - MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPPP.


Oh, and This Just In:

Pageviews by Operating Systems yesterday were up by 3 with the addition of iPhone and Blackberry.  I had no idea that they were operating systems, so there it happens, once again, I do my best to try not to learn anything on this, my day off, and it's ruined.  Totally ruined.  Well, look on the bright side.  At least it's only an assumption.  I mean, it's not like I actually went out and looked it up and researched it or anything, oh, heavens no! 

One more thing, didja notice that I said "up by 3," but then only mentioned two?  This is why I asked the accountant person who posted the comment on yesterday's blog post to do my, I mean, to help me with my math homework.  The accountant person who is also purported to be a Big Chicken.