Another One of Them Funny Posts

This just in:

Views of zbigchicken.blogspot.com dominated by peeps from the United States this month, with Canada coming in close behind.  The Ukraine, trailed by Trinidad and Tobago, now falling behind, due to the new presence on the scene of folks from Denmark and Germany.  Where is Denmark, you might ask?  Well, it's right over there ------>, silly.   Just a mere stone's throw from another one of our visitors to this here blog and that is the United Kingdom.  That's right, Viewers, there really are countries aside from ours and all and people who read the Chicken from outside of this Our Great Land and it just so happens that someone has also been here from South Korea, too.  They've been in the news some here of late, it seems.

So, Welcome Everyone!  Thanks for dropping in, World Viewers.  Glad you stopped by, and please come on back for another visit again real soon.


My oh my, what an interesting world we live in.

Speaking of which, saw some turtles hanging out on a log in the swamp today.  Well, truth be told, it wasn't technically a swamp, but was more like a big lake.  However, since I am writing to you for the last time this week from Alexandria, Louisiana, and I have yet to see an actual swamp, I just made that part of the story up, which is the brilliance of fiction.  I get to say whatever I want and it can be a bunch of lies and people are totally okay with that.  I love my job, and I sure do hope that it continues to pay, so please remember to purchase your Cyber Chicken Theater Tickets found here
 http://zbigchicken.blogspot.com/p/cyber-chicken-theater-tickets.html and then come on back and look around some more and get ready for our very own Special Edition of Big Chicken Radio - Coming Your Way Real Soon.  My assistant has been hard at work (for once) recording interesting and tasty radio giblets for all of you and I really will get those posted just as soon as I possibly feel like it.  Hahaha, well what did you think I was going to say?  That I was going to do that as soon as possible?  Oh, that's FUNNY.  Listen, I already have that on my voice mail and (just between you and me here) that is just a bunch of kockamaymee bull spit, is what that is.

You know what that funny-looking "k" word reminded me of?  A date I had the other night with a total hottie.  That's right, ya'll, your Big Southern Fried Chicken had me a date, and a hot one, with this little kookaburra bird.  She's from Australia, and she says she's a kingfisher, but we'll see about that.  I was thinking as I lied to her and told her I was single, that she was probably from somewhere else, because who actually tells the truth on the first date anyway?  Certainly not me.  Though I do give it some thought.  About as much as I give to proper grammer and usage.  And spelling.  Listen, the thing about poor grammer, punctuation, and gross mis-spellings is that it's funny.  Which is why I do it.  And why I persist.  And all those guys said I was scared of commitment.  Well, take that, marriage counselor.  You, too, divorce attorney.  And you, mistress.  Number one.  For the night.

Hey, do you know the really neat thing about geography?  It's all around us.  Constantly.  Lurking.  Like the silent threat that it is.  Borders and boundaries that were once invisible becoming increasingly more obvious with things like big big walls and video surveillance and things which are put in place to help protect a chicken from things like wolves and foxes and other things which would kill and EAT him, but then just end of making him a prisoner, although, if you've got to be a prisoner, being one in a great big old free land isn't really such a bad thing.  This all makes my head spin, so please don't bring it up again.

Love,
Your Free-Range Chicken

You know how I knew where Denmark was?  Google.  I love Google.  Thank you, Google maps.  This is One Big Geographically Challenged Cyber-Bird, signing off.