Tits

Hola Amigos y Enemigos,

Hoy, en Chicken

Today we have a letter from a troubled reader whose self image was damaged greatly, through no fault of her own, and whose life will never be the same again.  Bump, bump, bummmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Dear zbigchicken,


Recently this guy broke up with me because he said that my tits are too small.  I told him that I got them in Europe and that they aren't supposed to be huge, but he said that they were still too small for him, and that, since I kept them in a cage in my bedroom, that the peeping would be more than he could deal with anyway.   What should I do, big chicken?  I mean, I never thought that keeping pet passerines from the tit family would be a problem, but apparently it is.  Now, how can I keep both the blue tits (Cyanistes caeruleus - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Tit ) and the man that I love.......................................to have sex with?


Sincerely,
Trying In Tactful Totality to Investigate Effective Solutions

Dear, uh, TITTIES,

Listen, I really really really like your name.  I  don't know why, eggsactly, but it sure calls to me.  Now, about this loser:  first, is he rich?  No?  Dump him.  Second, is he better looking than I?  Double-dog dump him.  Third, don't fault the guy for not liking the small tits, as there's the matter of preference, especially in regards to pets.  So, if you really want to keep this guy around and keep him happy, I would say, get rid of those teeny blue tits, and go ahead and get yourself some Great Tits (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Tit ), as they seem to have a broader appeal, although peeping in the bedroom  may still be a problem.

You're welcome.
The "I think that the study of passerines, and specifically that of tits, will henceforward be a large working part of my blog" Chicken