Today's Page-View Update

Hello, Big Chicken here with Today's Page-View Update.

This just in-

Today's page views have reportedly been brought to your screens by several browsers, including Mozilla Firefox, Safari, and Opera.  Having said all of that, I forgot my point.  Oh, yes.  Where the heck is Internet Explorer?  Doesn't anyone use that anymore?

In order to help expedite the search for that very popular browser, I, the Big Chicken, am willing to offer a reward.*  That's right, a reward for the arrest and conviction-  (not a criminal? oh, sorry) A reward for the safe return of the Internet Explorer browser.  This is a very old but still very cute browser, answers to little "e," well-trained, usually only takes one click of the mouse on his name to get him to "work."  Yes, he's a "working" browser.  Usually.  Listen, if you've seen him or you know where he might be, please call because we're all worried sick.  Whatever it was we did, "e," we're sorry, just please come home, okay?  We miss you so much, "e."  Come back.  Come home.  FOR GOODNESS SAKES, DON'T LEAVE US NOW!  Honestly, "e," the holidays are coming, and don't you know how embarrassing that's going to be when people ask us what ever happened to you? What are we supposed to say to those people?  And what does this have to do with chicken?  I don't know, reader.  I don't know.

Confusedly,
Your Very Big C
(not to be confused with the obviously missing very little "e")

*The "Reward" will be space enough on my blog for your name, and, if you act now, I will give you the option of having one of those little blank lines (such as this one here ---->"______") that seem to be all the rage with my sponsors this year.