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Internet Explorer has returned! That's right, ladies and wheat germs, one or more of you out there is apparently driving one of those flashy browsers that answer to "e" and have daringly chosen to park it, albeit temporarily, in the Page-Views garage. And no, I am not hovering around, lurking in the corner, watching and waiting to rob the cars that park in Page View Stats. Ok, ok, I am really, which means I lied,** but do you know what? You should really expect that from me by now. Plus, I bet I know who's doing it, too, I mean who parked it there, and it's probably the one saucy comment-leave-er (and BTW sorry in advance to the rest of you because I am not going to publish that one on here because I am hoarding it in my "comments awaiting moderation" box) who has been doing those spicy drive-by e-mailings. (Thank you.)

Seriously, though, my family and I would like to thank the mystery driver for returning with our dear, long-lost "e," because we were really starting to fall apart there as a family unit and "e" is like the glue that holds us all together, because, as long as he's around, we can focus on something besides each other's shortcomings. Which helps immeasurably.

**Listen, this part may get confusing because, you see, I was not lying up there right before the part where I said I was lying. What I was actually doing, in all of my industrious busy-ness, was gathering together free Chinese-learning resources so this big chicken can try for an edu-ma-cation. I know, about time, huh? haha. Hey, you said it, brother. Heyyyy, wait a minute. You know what? It really hurts when you're sarcastic, plus do you know that the root of the word means "to tear flesh?" Yeah, so think about that the next time you start thinking it's a good idea to be all mean to someone, but especially to me, because I'm sensitive. Not saying don't do it. Just think about it once or twice, that's all. But if it's funny, do it. Regardless of the price you'll pay relationship-wise. After all, what's that one saying? "People won't remember what you said, or what you did, or how you made them feel. Ever." At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it went. And, while I normally try to avoid the soapbox, that one saying is how I have tried to live my life thus far, which is why I am sharing it with you.*

*Don't try this at home.