Big Chicken Bulletin

Has anyone out there learned Chinese for me yet? Chop-chop. We've got to get the angle on international marketing here, and I haven't got all day, so how many times do I have to tell you that you need to do my work for me? After all, that is what I am building a team for.

Abusively,
Your Big Bossy Chicken

PS-People sometimes ask me why I decided to dress up like a big chicken and roller skate around the country, and I usually make up some lame excuse, but the truth is that the idea of putting out my resume and interviewing for ordinary jobs was just too humiliating.

PPS-Did you notice the fabulous payments page? Up there, the tab that's labeled "Cyber-Chicken Theater Tickets." Check it out! It's great, because if you go there, then you can pay me and then come back here and make popcorn and read the stuff that I write (or "type," or "peck out," rather) in the comfort of your own home or in the library (although there you probably wouldn't be able to have popcorn) or in the coffee shop or, if you're a long-distance sort of a migrating species, like the Swainson's Hawk, perhaps you could read these tasty giblets in an international airport. Just a thought. Reminds me, I will be migrating soon, too. That's right. Oh, don't tell me you've never seen the vast flocks of migrating chickens that move through Canada this time of year? It's an amazing phenomenon, and really should not be missed. If I were actually going to be a part of that, you could easily pick me out of the flock, seeing as how I am a human person dressed up as a chicken and plus I am wearing roller skates. Shouldn't be too hard to spot, if, as I alluded to before, I was actually going to be there. Which I'm not. Plus, the mass migration of chickens through Canada is not, in fact, an event that actually exists. I just made that up. Right now. For you. Which is what you're paying me to do. Lie to you. I love my job.