Good morning ladies, and wheat germs, and fair, soft, plucky, cute feathered friends:
I am writing to you today because I have an announcement that needs to circulate within the wanted ad sections of your daily circulars or electronic newsletters or what-have-you, (since I simply cannot commit to regularly publishing one of my own, and if you wish to know more about that, please refer to the prior post about that here on on my blog-spot although, again, and I just really cannot stress this enough, I am not going to tell you which one it is or where it is located because I just refuse to continue doing your work for you) so please feel free to forward this on to your many and varied and magnificent and smart and also terribly, terribly wealthy friends in the spirit in which it was written, or typed, or laid, fresh this morning.
WANTED:
Someone to do my homework for me while I travel around and have many related chicken-skate adventures.
Oh, alright, I know that I need to do my coursework myself because, after all, it does build character, which as you all know by now, (or at the very least you should although sometimes I just cannot be sure how much is really infiltrating that spongy mass coated by a hard crunchy shell that is your head. Don't look at me. I'm just sayin', is all.) is the reason that I am here, doing this. For you.
So please, call now. Except I am not going to put my phone number on here because I do not want to get a bunch of phone calls from wackos while I am seriously trying to dress up like a chicken and roller skate around the country. So lay off! Here, try emailing me at zbigchicken at gmail dot com and that is with a z before the b because it gives it a little something to really push it over the top of this lunacy. I thank you.
Once again and twice over easy and verily I remain,
Your Incredibly, Edibly, Large and Magnificent and Strong Yet Flamboyant - "C"
Home of the Worst Relationship Advice on the Planet.
I will do your homework mr BIG CHICKEN!!!!!!! Of all the dumb cluck i came across your blog quite by accident...this is your lucky day... e-mail me and let me know when and what subject you need done......cluck ya later
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous! And a big "Thank you!" to you for offering to do my homework for me. I am sorry to say that I do not know how to gain an email address from an anonymous post, or I would immediately take you up on your offer. (Not really, because that would be cheating, and I know I need to do my homework myself in order to build character and so forth, but still, this is all in jest and good fun, so if you wanna squawk or cluck like a chicken, just gimme a holler at 555-CHI-CKEN. Just kidding! I don't have a business line. Yet.) Anyhoo, you have a funny and fowl sense of humor, so thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll do my homework, I mean, stop on by again real soon.
ReplyDeleteYour,
Big Chicken
well well well. Look who's landed in the hot pot! The big chicken is boiling mad that i didn't leave an e-mail address for him...well i guess that Iam going to have to teach you how to stop pecking the keyboard and get down to it.bwahahaha.(That's an evil laugh by the way). Stay out of hot water and be good. oh BTW...... the child support is late again,just a friendly reminder for someone i know
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