Ask a Big Chicken

-Do Big Chickens have hot dates?

No. Normally they do not, seeing as how they are big human people who like to dress in fowl costumes. Chicks do not always dig that. In fact, they rarely dig that. Listen, I'm feeling rather lonely here, so could we please stop with the dating questions? (here, read this question)

-Fine. Do Big Chickens like bok choy?

Very much. In fact, bok choy is part of what this Big Chicken is having for breakfast right this very minute. At four am in this part of the world. (Even though the time stamp on my computer says otherwise, but that's because I am traveling. Trust your Big Chickey on this one, for I would never lie to you, plucky reader, unless it suited me.) That's right, ladies and wheat germs, the Big Chicken (that would be me, although because of the way the next part of the sentence is structured, it should be "I," and please stop confusing the big chickey because I haven't yet had a chance to preen, although you obviously have because, as usual you look so cute at four am. You haven't preened yet? Well, how can you look so good at this unbugly hour? Jerk.) gets up at four in the morning, and yes that is with the chickens, to have leftover beefy stir fry with delicious and nutritious broccoli and bok choy and other leafy green things with a nice sauce over ric-Hm? Am I a vegetarian? No. I tried it but I found that I really missed the bugs.

-How was your date?

It was fine. I like to eat bugs.

-You're changing the subject, Big Chicken.

No, I'm not.

-Big Chicken....

Am not.

-Yes, you are.

No. I'm not.

-Are.

Not.

-Listen, Big Chicken, dating is nothing to be ashamed of. Are you going on another one?

No.

-Why not?

Because she prefers men who don't wear feathers.


zbigchicken at gmail dot come that's with a z before the b